The Smoothound

Which Bond is Best?

2008-08-14T06:23:00.000-07:00

Possibly one of the biggest questions of our time : Who is the best Bond?

As a child, I quite like Roger Moor. But then I suspect this may have been because he was my first Bond, and he was the one acting in the new films at the time. I remember when Octopussy came out, I though it was the best thing ever. Especially the free Bond stickers in packs of Shredded Wheat.

Timothy Dalton then came along and ruined it all of course. But by this time I was watching Sean Connery on the telly and quickly realising that he was by far the superior Bond. It then became even more apparent that Roger Moor had been a bit of a cock really, and kind of ruined the character.

Pierce Brosnan has I think done more films than the both of them, and some of the films are OK. But I recon for a definitive answer you should pop down to your local Asda.

Yes, they know who the best is. But how can you tell? Check out the pricing on the new Best Of bond box sets that have come out! There is is, for all to see. Finally, a quick and simple way to see which bond is best. And before you say it, there are actually LESS DVDs in the Connery box set, and yet it costs more. Surely a sign of quality?

The jury is still out on Danial Craig of course, but after seeing the amazing Casino Royale, I'm pretty sure that be will be comfortably in the No. 2 spot. Assuming of course he doesn't know Connery off the top.

Could he do it? Well, we shall know for sure after the Quantum of Solace comes out! But the real answer might not come till he's done a few more and Asda start selling box sets.

Camilla Ice Live

2008-08-14T06:02:00.001-07:00

Here it is! Carrie doing her Camilla Ice LIVE!

If you enjoyed this post, please have a look at the rest of the blog.

Why not subscribe for FREE, so you can keep up to date with the latest Rant Of The Day!

Thanks for watching !

Camilla Ice - Latest

2008-08-13T09:19:00.000-07:00

Here's a video clip posted by Aled. It's basically the Dizzee video, with the audio from the show and some vid clips of Carrie thrown in.

New Facebook STILL Sucks !

2008-08-12T09:37:00.001-07:00

Let there be no confusion here. New Facebook is an absoloute load of toss. The more I use it, the more astounded I am at how this ever got released. I mean, at some point, this "improvement" will have gone before a committee, and hopefully some testers. All of whom have said that New Facebook is OK. Well, guess what, you're all WRONG! Just like New Facebook is, now offically, WRONG!

Please start again, this time run it past a useability expert before you give it to a bunch of morons to approve for release.

Previous rant about New Facebook.

Fear Of Change (New Facebook SUCKS!)

2008-08-07T09:28:00.001-07:00

Kainotophobia apparently is the fear of change, or new things. I sometimes worry this is something I suffer from. While I work in IT, I absolutely detest it when there are major changes/developments afoot. More often than not, there is absolutely no need from them, it's just progress for progresses sake.

I think the first time I experienced techno-kainotophobia (as I will call it) was when Windows XP first appeared. Windows started off as a pretty bad OS, it got better with 95, and with 98 and eventually, 2000 was a very good stable OS. But really, there was never any need to move on from 2000! The only things needed were to add more hardware support for newer hard drives and CPUS, and eventually add 64 bit support. But NO we had to have XP, with all it's bloated graphics and unneeded sub processes, services and background tasks.

Don't even get me started on Vista.

That said, I've (eventually) taken quite well to new phenomena, such as social networking : specifically Facebook. It's basically everything that Friends Reunited should have been. I bet they're KICKING themselves now! Snooze you loose fellas!

So anyway, my point is that the *NEW* Facebook just came out. I hate it. Really, really I do. There was no need. Yes, Facebook is cluttered, but more often than not, this is the fault of the users for setting up their profiles like that (it's sure as hell prettier than Myspace!).

So why change it? Yes, it looks nice and tidy now. But you can't find anything anymore! The stuff I wanted people to see when they looked at my profile is now gone, it's tucked away in a tabbed section somewhere. And can I bollocks get it to actually show me my profile when I want, I have to go back to old Facebook, then select my profile, then go back to new Facebook again. Then, after ALL that, the fucking site will crash with just a "Loading..." message, meaning I have to refresh the page to reload the whole site again.

What a big load of hairy bollocks. Cheesy ones at that!

Latest Rant About New Facebook

Our new server ROCKS !

2008-08-05T09:15:00.001-07:00

OK, so I HAD to move the site. But it's meant I can finally get PHP working on the site. With some major help from Dom over at Perfect Web Solutions. So thanks mate for help setting up the site and also getting the nifty RSS to PHP script to work!

Soon...to take over the world...(OK, well maybe just learn a little PHP first)

Download.com - What a mess!

2008-07-31T01:08:00.000-07:00

There's a time to blog, and a time not to blog. This is one of those occasions where it would have been best NOT to blog.

CNET Download, previously ZDNET Download over at www.download.com have decided to turn their very well designed and functional site....into a blog page.

NOOOOOOOOOoooooooooo, what are you DOING ?!?! They've RUINED it! What a total fucking mess! Seriously, have a word !!

The Mighty Boosh Vs Honey Monster Crimp Off

2008-07-29T02:25:00.000-07:00

The Boosh boys are set to try and take down the mighty Honey Monster after Nestlé's blatent plagarismn of Boosh style crimping.

For those who haven't seen it, the offending item is screened below.

Details on the legal status of the case are not yet confirmed (or at least, my Googling hasn't revealved much yet). But at least the advert has been taken off air!

I must confess to having a bowl of Sugar Puffs in my cupboard, and savouring their sugary delights of a morning. On principle : I shan't be eating any more till this is all sorted, and Nestle apologise !

....oh go on, just one more bowl! NOM NOM NOM! NOOOOOOoooooo!!!

Dom's Boring Video

2008-07-24T02:27:00.000-07:00

For those who haven't seen it. This is allegedly the most boring video on YouTube and it's probably now one of the most watched thanks to the Chris Moyles show on Radio 1.

I'm not sure exactly what the prooves, other than the power one Radio DJ has over media sites such as YouTube.

Chris Moyles is a legend, no doubt, but with decreasing listining figures, you think they'd be dreaming up some better comedy. Sure this is funny, and it's kinda cool to see this video at the top of Youtube just because of us listeners, but I'd expect them to be coming out with some legendary genuine comedy.

I also note that recently Chris hasn't been munching sausage sandwiches on air. Maybe the complaints have finally worked? Or maybe it's a fluke, and I just jinxed it? God knows! But I'll enjoy his professionalism while it lasts.

Now we just need to Stop Chris Moyles From Burping!!!

In the meantime, click play, sit back and relax and enjoy all 9 minutes and 43 seconds of Dominic Burne mowing his lawn.

Get fit fattie! Get a mountain bike!

2008-07-18T07:39:00.001-07:00

So I've tried the dieting, but I eat healthily already. I reduce my beer intake, and drink more wine/spirits. But what's really missing is exercise. Probably what is missing from most fatties’ lifestyle!

I've tried swimming, but it gave me a bad neck. I can do weights and stuff, but that doesn't really burn any calories. I'm pretty good at jogging, but it's so fucking dull: Hours staring at the same bit of road slowly rolling past, heart pounding, and lungs gasping. Yes its exercise, but it’s HELL!

It was my wife who suggested a pushbike and to be honest, at first I wasn't so interested. But she was going to get one anyway, so I thought I'd look into it. The more I looked into it, the more it made sense. After all, how did we all used to get around when we were kids and teenagers? We sure as hell didn't walk!

I used to bike EVERYWHERE! Me and my mates used to go for miles; all the neighbouring villages and back roads. It was fun and healthy.

So now I got my bike, and I'm out and about whenever it's not pissing it down. I even got a tachometer so I know I've done 60 miles on the thing already (and that it can do 32MPH if I peddle REALLY hard).

So, if you like me need to get more exercise, but can't be arsed with the gym, get bored with jogging and can't swim. Just go get a pushbike! Even better, get a Mountain Bike! You don't even have to go on the roads then!

One word of advice though, if you do go off-road, get some puncture proof tyres or fill your tubes up with Slime, as it will be about 5 minutes into the off-road when you get a puncture (and yes, this will happen when you are furthest from home and aforementioned wife will have to come save you).

Cinema Commercials - Lie back and take it like a man?

2008-07-18T04:49:00.000-07:00

I don’t know what it is with things in our world these days, and from those opening words I could go in an endless number of directions which only highlights the number of annoying things we all have to contend with on a daily basis.
Today however, it’s something that has annoyed me for some time but something I’ve forgotten about approximately two hours after the event, for reasons that will become a little more obvious in a moment.

Now then, I highly doubt there is anyone who doesn’t get annoyed at the number of commercials rammed down your throat on a daily basis while trying to watch telly. This has been taken to new levels with the arrival of sponsored programs, and the more sneaky approach I’ve discovered of timing. For example, a program is coming on you get a few adverts but the channel generally gets straight into the program, to get you hooked into the story line, to be then swiftly broken for a ridiculous length of adverts in the middle, knowing your more likely to sit through them because you want to finish the show. This does my head in. However, I take it. I accept the channel I’m watching is only available because of the commercials, OK.

The BBC, the reverse annoyance of these issues, hurray no commercials! But what’s this, a mandatory licence fee. This issue is nothing new but hang on a moment, the nation is being made to go digital, the BBC boast about their new i-player, which anybody can watch on the internet with or without a TV licence, you can actually be branded a criminal for not having one. So when will the nation wake up and revolt against this stupidity. Give people a choice god dam it! The more you actually think about what you get for your money with TV packages etc. it really is about time the BBC was an option not the law.

I haven’t really said anything ground breaking yet, I wanted to just highlight the state of TV in this country to emphasise the utter disgrace of my main rant.
I personally am a bit of a movie buff, as is my wife, we usually watch at least one film a week, more often than not it can be two or three, whether we buy a DVD, book a box office, catch a flick on TV (providing it isn’t one that stops for the news, I honestly don’t have the energy to talk about that one anymore, its fucking stupid, I refuse to watch a movie if the news is scheduled half way through, enough said) or go to the cinema. Now, the cinema is a treat for us, we go maybe once every couple of months purely because it is quite expensive. It’s about £7 per adult and then another £7 for refreshments, it’s easily a good £20 just to go and watch a movie.

Before you think I’m going to over look the refreshments like that your mistaken, I pay £7 for popcorn and a drink because I don’t go to the cinema that often and think what the hell. But if the people at Cineworld think I don’t know I’m being shafted really hard up the arse by paying about 1000% profit on popcorn they are mistaken.

Which leads me nicely onto the main event, I pay the cinema a good £20 for two tickets and an over sized sack of popcorn and barrel of coke (they mock us thinking they give us the impression of generosity with their over sized refreshments, THAT COST NOTHING TO MAKE AND COST A FORTUNE). The only staff the place needs is cleaners, cashiers, popcorn servers and some monkey to hit play for each screen which is a one man job in one control room, all roles minimum wage.

I get to the film on time, I even rush because I think we may be late for the viewing time advertised. And then, I sit, I wait. I’m made to watch 25 minutes of commercials. I need to pause and calm my self because this actually makes me furious. A cinema must be one of the simplest and profitable businesses to run, they get away with profit margins beyond any other with refreshments, and I can deal with that, its £20 for a pleasurable entertainment.
But commercials, you’ve paid your money to watch the movie, the cinema have made there profit twice already on the tickets and refreshments. Commercials….in the cinema…..its wrong, wrong, wrong on every level. By the time you finish the movie you often forget about it, and they catch you out time and time again. I’m so upset about this I’m seriously thinking about taking a cinema to court for false advertising, the movie start times are false information and shouldn’t be aloud. There is no good reason for cinemas to do this, its just greed and the general public shouldn’t have to take it. It may even sound petty to some, but this is the greatest case for point and principle ever and its time to take a stand!

Broken SATA power connectors.

2008-07-18T02:57:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I have serious doubts on the competency of the people who make our IT standards. Or more specifically, those who decide to change them.

The standard 4 pin hard drive power connector has been in use for a good 20 years or so. Never in my 18 years of mucking around with PC hardware have I ever had one fail, break, snap or in any way perform less than it's simple function.

So why the hell have they seen fit to re-invent the power connector, and replace it with the flimsiest connector I have ever seen in all my days? It's pathetic! USB connectors are flimsy, having worked in tech support and repairs, I know just how ofetn people break them. But this new SATA power connector uses less than half the plastic in it's central tab.

The irony is, this central tab is there to provide strength and rigidity to the mating between socket and plug. So why the hell make it so thin?

I'm not a clumsy man, yet I've broken two of the feckers in as many days, and I can tell you, I'm pretty pissed off about it !

Stop change for changes sake, and bring back the old 4 pin plug!

Camilla Ice beats Dizzee Rascal any day!

2008-07-18T01:52:00.000-07:00

I'm your typical white 32 year old male. So naturally I can't stand Dizzee Rascal.

It's a great relief to find that Super Hero DJ Chris Moyles and the crew have done a nice parody to make the morning more bearable, and as a more palatable alternative to the cottonwool mouthed cockney coke snorting cock jockey.

I found this download from unofficial mills :

http://www.megaupload.com/?d=XOS3NI80

Which may or may not work! I recommend you subscribe to the blog if you want to be kept up to date with the latest Camilla Ice news.

More Camilla Ice News Here, but do keep watching the rest of the blog! Get subscribed!

Click here to subscribe to The Daily Rant
or Click here to see the latest rantings !

Better Than Kids

2007-11-23T07:30:00.000-08:00

Why do people bang on about kids as if they're the most amazing thing ever? What's so great about not being able to go out when you like? Wiping shitty arses? Having your favourite program interrupted or totally missed?

Me, I've opted out and chosed Cats instead. Likewise other friends of mine have also decided that kids suck, and animals rule.

My Cats are a constant source of entertainment and affection, and when we want to go out, they can look after themselves. Or else, we can put them in the local deluxe cattery and rest assured they will be treated well while we enjoy sunny beachs in far off lands.

Let's be honest, having kids is the end of your life for the next 20+ years! If you're lucky, when they leave home you can pick your life back up and get back to how things used to be. But in other cases people seem to find they no longer remember why they got married and become one of those hatefull mockerys of marriage where they constantly bitch and moan about each other.

So have pets instead, they're better than kids in every way!

Ban Fireworks and Save The World!

2007-11-08T09:06:00.000-08:00

Carbon Emissions, Seriously, I don’t know about anybody else but I’m sick to the back teeth of hearing about it. Ok, I don’t necessarily want to start a political debate, so I’m going to make a few assumptions such as, yes we all accept we should all ‘do our bit’, we all accept weather you believe in global warming or not, that we should all take interest in looking after our planet. Fair enough. I think it’s also fair to say, that it doesn’t take a Quantum Physics degree to figure out that every Tom, Dick and Harry has jumped on the band wagon. It’s like the golden ticket of ripping people off, the perfect avenue for stealth tax. We all know this, we all moan about it and we all know there is absolutely nothing we can do to stop it. One way or another we will pay more tax and the so called problem of carbon emissions remain.

The best part of all of this though, are the brilliant ideas and proposals put forward for the cause of reducing carbon emissions.
One theory, and this is one hundred percent genuine, I read it in the Sun.
No seriously, I read it in the Times, and this has sparked a huge online debate. The proposal is to ban fresh milk. The theory is that if supermarkets stock mostly long-life, UHT milk, it will require less refrigeration, thus cutting down on carbon emissions. This is absolutely true. Now I’m no scientist, but I always thought UHT stood for 'ultra high temperature', a belief that a quick Google-search backs up. So I can't help being sceptical from the start about the government claim that switching from fresh to UHT milk would benefit the environment. Doesn't all that heating involve quite a lot of carbon emissions?
More to the point, anyone who's ever been on a camping trip, visited a hot country or purchased a cheap coffee from a vending machine will testify, UHT milk tastes pretty shit. At best, it's a last resort. And not to mention the flip side to this whole idea, the effect it would have on out dairy farmers.
So, this made me think, it’s easy for me to mock these ideas so what would I do? What would be my better, sensible proposal?
Well, let me tell you. Ok so the left wingers have got there way in saving our health by bringing in the smoking ban, the politicians are and will continue to fleece us all out of more emission taxes. Our society wants us to live for as long, healthy and safely as possible so they can tax us for longer. Take knives off our streets & eat healthily. You get the idea.
So my idea is simple. Ban Guy Fawlks night. You can probably guess were I’m going with this but seriously. Why is it, that we are constantly bombarded by this caring nation with all the advice on healthy eating, stop smoking, stop drinking, don’t do drugs, don’t carry guns and knifes, save our planet save our souls, etc. yet once a year, its perfectly acceptable to buy lethal explosives at any corner shop and build ruddy great bon fires. Every year people blow there faces off; burn there houses down and probably let off more carbon emissions in one night than all the cars in one year. It’s expensive, stupid and dangerous, and call me old and grumpy but it’s bloody annoying too. Because people can’t even stick to celebrating one night any more, oh no, it’s a fortnight of vain popping annoyance. Every year I feel like I’m landing on Omaha beach in 1945 just trying to get inside the house? All the cats and dogs are shaking under tables scared shitless.

So, Make the world a safer place, cut carbon emissions and respect the peace and be kind to animals all in one go. Ban bon fire night and keep fresh milk. (cocks)

Blogs Are Ace

2007-10-11T07:07:00.000-07:00

In other news today, I'm now not the only member of Reborn who is active on the band blog. Walker has finally got his arse in gear and is adding to the site content.

All good stuff! I'm very impresssed with Blogger, it's been a bit of a twat at times, and the formatting is often nothing like the preview, but generally it's good. A dead easy way of adding site content.

I like !

Hit Salesmen Where It Hurts.

2007-10-11T06:58:00.000-07:00

Right in the commission!

Having got totally pissed of with this sales guy dragging this out for 4 weeks, the whole £11k order has now been passed on to 3 separate companies. Zero commission for you buddy ! Cheeky twat the gaul to ask if we would use them again in the future, you must be joking!

I don't plan on doing any more procurement for a long, long time !

Veggie Food

2007-09-27T06:04:00.000-07:00

Being semi-veggie, it's hard to find interesting stuff to eat all the time. But one easily available staple, is the Cheese and Onion pastie. Any American readers should at this point consult the picture to the left and realise I am not discussing nipple tastles.

Being from "Up North", for many years I've frequented Thomas The Baker and Couplands Bakery, but since working in Leeds, I've been exposed to the delights of two new bakeries. Namely Greggs, and Ainsleys. I'm assured that the Steak Bake from Greggs is to die for, but being carnivoricularily challenged, I savoured the charms of their Cheese and Onion pastie. I have to say, it's one of the best I've had, although quite greesy. That said, it's no where near as greesy as the positively slick pastie I just sampled from Ainsleys. While flavoursome, I am finding that my mouth is now oil lined some 30 mins after finishing it. I suspect I may shortly have to jump start my old ticker after the no doubt alarming quantity of carb I just digested.

In other news today. I have a new pen.

Still hate PC salesmen

2007-09-20T08:03:00.000-07:00

After spending months sorting out quotes for some new PC gear for work (read, a few £K worth). One of my suppliers reconed he could out quote everyone else. So now after delaying the whole process for a week, the cocker can't quote for shit. What a total bell end, his prices are flipping rubbish. I've waited a week for them to say they can match the price.......why the hell would I do that? GRRrr.

Burn in hell sales scum!

Sprechen sie Deutch

2007-09-19T11:48:00.000-07:00

And while I'm in a ranting mood, why the fuck has Blogger started talking to me in Gernman?

FUCK OFFFFFFFFFFF

Skanking PC Salesmen

2007-09-19T11:40:00.000-07:00

You know, it proper does my head in. I give someone a load of good advise on what to look for in a new laptop, and the salesmen they go see promptly re-assures them that the laptop infront of them, lacking all the key points, is exactly what they need.

For me it's pretty damn simple

1) Intel CPU - if you want it stable, just don't risk it
2) Intel Chipset - as above
3) Dedicated graphics chip - you don't want the performance hit of shared graphics, especially when Vista becomes mandatory
4) Windows XP - never, ever, ever buy version 1 of any OS. Vista is not ready yet, walk away.
5) Shiny Screens - must admit I'd fogotten about this, but if it's got a shiny screen, walk away. it's gonna drive you up the wall and give you a migrane.

So no surprises when my poor dad comes home with

1) AMD CPU
2) NVidea Chipset
3) Shared Graphics
4) Windows vista
5) Glossy "Crystal" screen.

NOOOOOOO!!! Return to Go, do not collect 200 pounds!

I hate salesmen, all of them, fucking rip off bastards. They will all burn in hell when their time comes.

Blog tastic

2007-09-19T04:17:00.000-07:00

Well, I've now got 2 more blogs, one for my t-shirt sideline and one for the band. Let's hope i can update them more often than I have this blog!

General rantings and musings since my last post. Well, a main observation was that when the weather get's nice, which isn't often, people start driving like total idiots. I mean, like real spackers.

Just really stupid stuff like pulling out infront of you, wandering around the road and over the white lines, stopped abruptly, nearly hitting me in the boot, the list goes on. but basically people seem to stop paying attnetion to what they are doing as soon as the weather get's nice. I mean there really is only one thing you're supposed to be doing behind the wheel, and it's not gazing at the blue sky, nice trees and lovely flowers. It's looking at the damn road and avoiding all the other people on it.

It's not fucking rocket science.

God is a DJ (and he eats sausage sandwiches)

2007-08-31T01:08:00.000-07:00

Like many commuters, I enjoy listening to Chris Moyles on a morning. It always puts me in a good mood for the day giving me a chuckle on my way to work. But it properly pisses me off, when he and his team sit there, live on air, munching on sausage sandwiches. It sounds f*****g gross. It annoys me to such distraction that I have to switch over to Radio 2. Then I have to listen to the drone of Terry Lobe-On and sweet sound of The Cars "Drive"....mostly.

My First Blog

2007-08-31T01:01:00.001-07:00

Still undecided as to wether this is a good idea, I've decided to create a blog to document my ramblings, random thoughts and experiences. Most of which happen on my daily commute to and from work.